If Only Tonight We Could Sleep

Hello, my name is Megan. I'm 22 years old. Living day by day.

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I have my days where I sit here on this bed with my eyes closed and think. Just think. I think about all the times we shared here. I think about the times I held you in my arms, falling asleep almost instantly. I think about all the times I would feel the comfort of your arms wrapped around me, hugging me tight while we slept. I think about the times I lay with my head on your chest, listening to the sound of your heartbeat. I think about the times we lay there and whisper, sharing laughs like we were the only people in the world. I think about all the times I would fall asleep with a smile on my face. I think about the times you would lay your head on my chest when you didn’t feel well while I ran my fingers through your hair and held you tight. I think about all the mornings I would wake up next to you, instantly making my day better. I think about how we would sneak behind peoples back and how we kept secrets. I think about the times I would tease you and everything that followed after. Then I start to remember. I remember things vividly, like the memories were replaying video in my mind. I remember the first time you ever kissed me. How I felt that rush and the billions of butterflies in my stomach and how I smiled for the rest of the night.  I remember the first time you called me beautiful. I remember the first time we fell asleep in each other’s arms. I remember the first time you held my hand. I remember it all. Everything. Then I start to feel. All the feelings come rushing over me as if they are just happening. I feel how your lips felt on mine. I feel your skin under my fingertips. I feel your breath on my neck while you slept. I feel the touch of your hand. I feel the warmth of your body. I feel your body lying next to mine. I feel the weight of your arms draped across my waist. I feel your fingers entwined with mine. I feel the butterflies in my stomach, the smile come across my face, the happiness flowing through me. Then I can smell you. I smell the scent of your hair. I smell the scent of your skin. I can smell your clothes, one of the most comforting scents. I then begin to hear. I hear the way you would say my name. I hear the way you said ‘I love you’.  I hear everything you ever said to me.  I then open my eyes. I remember that you are not here anymore. I feel the cold sheets next to me. I smell the scent of my own clothes and hear absolutely nothing. 

I have my days where I sit here on this bed with my eyes closed and think. Just think. I think about all the times we shared here. I think about the times I held you in my arms, falling asleep almost instantly. I think about all the times I would feel the comfort of your arms wrapped around me, hugging me tight while we slept. I think about the times I lay with my head on your chest, listening to the sound of your heartbeat. I think about the times we lay there and whisper, sharing laughs like we were the only people in the world. I think about all the times I would fall asleep with a smile on my face. I think about the times you would lay your head on my chest when you didn’t feel well while I ran my fingers through your hair and held you tight. I think about all the mornings I would wake up next to you, instantly making my day better. I think about how we would sneak behind peoples back and how we kept secrets. I think about the times I would tease you and everything that followed after. Then I start to remember. I remember things vividly, like the memories were replaying video in my mind. I remember the first time you ever kissed me. How I felt that rush and the billions of butterflies in my stomach and how I smiled for the rest of the night.  I remember the first time you called me beautiful. I remember the first time we fell asleep in each other’s arms. I remember the first time you held my hand. I remember it all. Everything. Then I start to feel. All the feelings come rushing over me as if they are just happening. I feel how your lips felt on mine. I feel your skin under my fingertips. I feel your breath on my neck while you slept. I feel the touch of your hand. I feel the warmth of your body. I feel your body lying next to mine. I feel the weight of your arms draped across my waist. I feel your fingers entwined with mine. I feel the butterflies in my stomach, the smile come across my face, the happiness flowing through me. Then I can smell you. I smell the scent of your hair. I smell the scent of your skin. I can smell your clothes, one of the most comforting scents. I then begin to hear. I hear the way you would say my name. I hear the way you said ‘I love you’.  I hear everything you ever said to me.  I then open my eyes. I remember that you are not here anymore. I feel the cold sheets next to me. I smell the scent of my own clothes and hear absolutely nothing. 

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